


Sapphic Angst Fest

by andnowsomeonenew



Category: Doctor Who, Holby City, i'll be there - Fandom
Genre: AU on AAU ASAP, Based from spoilers for tonight's episode then spins off into AU, F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-20
Updated: 2016-09-20
Packaged: 2018-08-16 07:57:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8094253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/andnowsomeonenew/pseuds/andnowsomeonenew
Summary: Bernie makes a life changing decision before she leaves for the Ukraine





	1. Chapter 1

‘What do you mean you’re going to the Ukraine and not coming back?’ Serena Campbell was flabbergasted. Her best friend and sometimes kissing partner had dropped down into the seat next to her desk and blurted out her revelation.

‘Hanssen asked me to-‘

‘I know what Henrik Bloody Hanssen asked you, or at least what he was threatening to. What I’m asking you is why you’re not coming back? It’s only for two months.’ Bernie sighed heavily, her head dropping into her hands for a moment before lifting to meet the brunette’s fear stricken eyes.

‘Serena… I can’t do this anymore. It’s too hard.’

‘No Bernie-‘ The pain in Serena’s face was too much for Bernie to handle, the confusion and distress marring the most beautiful visage she’d ever seen.

‘I’m sorry, I have to go.’ Grabbing her bag, Bernie flew out of the door and had almost made it to the ward doors before Serena caught her arm and forced her to turn around to face her.

‘Berenice Griselda Wolfe you talk to me like a goddamn adult so help me God.’

‘Please just let me go Serena. It’ll be easier for us.’

‘If it’s the distance that’s the problem you don’t need to worry about that!’

'Serena-'

'I could come and see you.' She was getting desperate now, Bernie seemed determined to ruin whatever fledgling thing they had been building.

'No.'

Well we could meet halfway

'Stop! Please.' Bernies voice broke as she desperately tried to keep her composure. This was the hardest thing she had ever had to do and Serena was making it almost impossible to leave. How many times had she dreamt of such an event, the brunette chasing her down the halls for an emotional encounter. This was not how any of those daydreams had ended. None of them ended with her feeling sick to her toes with horror at her own actions. But it had to be done. It needed to happen. Even if it broke both of them.

'At least explain to me why you’re leaving. You owe me that much surely.'

'I kissed you and you kissed me back. You avoided me and then told me that kissing me made you want to die. I step back, allowed you to forget it happened because you were so uncomfortable about what had happened that you couldn't even bear to be in the same room with me and for the patients sake that had to stop. You continue to flirt with me constantly, kiss me, and then kiss someone else less than an hour later. You don’t know what you want and I can’t do it anymore, it hurts too much. I’m in love with you but I have to leave. You broke my heart Serena. That’s why I’m leaving.’ She turned to leave again, the eyes of the entire ward no longer pretending to watch anything but the sapphic angst and heartbreak that was playing out before them.

  
Serena was stuck rooted to the ground in shock. She didn't know Bernie had seen her kiss with Raf, she supposed to an onlooker it could look more than the ' _making sure I didn't get butterflies from kissing Bernie because she's a friend so I'll kiss another friend so we can make sure I actually like you_ ' kiss it actually was. She never should have done it. She should have never doubted her feelings. Her voice barely more than a whisper now she managed to croak out a response to the onslaught of honesty lobbied her way.

'But I do know what I want Bernie, I want you. I love you. I want to be with you.' Bernie wanted to believe her. Every atom in her being was crying out at her to believe her best friend, to take the brunette in her arms and kiss away the frown that marred her face. She wanted to take her home and promise she'd be back from the Ukraine as quickly as was humanly possible so she could curl up with Serena on the sofa watching tv and drinking Shiraz whilst Jason nattered at them about the logical inconsistencies of whatever it was they were watching, to work together to get him to watch something other then quiz shows. She wanted the four children they had between them to visit them at their house for Sunday lunch when the women were in their seventies and a kick around in the garden with the dozen grandchildren they had and their fainthful companion Rover whilst the cats skulked around being moody. She wanted nothing more than to finally believe that Serena meant what she said. But she couldn't. She could still see the dear and confusion lurking behind the desperation in Serena's eyes.

  
'No you don’t. I’m a woman and you can’t deal with that, you think you have but you haven’t. I’m sorry Serena. Goodbye.’ Bernie rushed out of the ward, a hand pressed to her mouth as she failed to stifle the sobs that came unbidden. There was silence. Even the monitors seemed to acknowledge that this was not the time to beep loudly. No one knew what to say. They had just been witness to an emotional car crash. Eventually Mr Jacobs in bed 8 sneezed, breaking th tension. Shaking herself from the fugue she had been forced into Serena span to find everyone staring at her, the sympathy in her colleagues eyes almost causing her to break down there and then.

'What are you all gawking at?!’ Serena seethed storming into the office and slamming the door.

* * *

 

'Kate it’s me. I need you help.'

'Wolfie? Have you been crying?'

'Remember that job offer you made? Well I’m ready to accept. If you still want me I’d love to join you at UNIT.'

'The family business continues.'

'Indeed. I’ve been seconded to the Ukraine for 2 months first so that will act as my notice period. I'll interview if I need to, I don't want you to be accused of nepotism.'

'You will do no such thing. If anything you are overqualified, it was the outgoing head of medical who asked me to ask you anyways. Welcome aboard sis.'


	2. Chapter 2

'Excuse me, hello, I'm looking for my daughter Eleanor. Where is she?' Fletch spat out his coffee at the unexpected appearance of a face he knew so well.

 

'Oh my god. Bernie?'

 

'No. I'm Kate. That's Bernie over there.' She gestured wildly over her shoulder to the doors of AAU where another Bernie lookalike was indeed stood looking extremely awkward with a third lookalike clone beside her dragging her towards them.

 

Neither of the approaching pair looked exactly like the Bernie he had known, the woman before him, Kate supposedly, looked the most like the woman who had left half a year previously. Her hair was the same if slightly longer and straighter, the dragging lookalike had far longer hair though still a blonde, and the one that had to be Bernie from the small smile she offered him looked completely different. Her hair was a deep auburn colour, almost brown, and halfway down her back. He'd spent enough time with Evie to know it was impossible for hair to grow to such a length in half a year. He was even more confused than ever. He dreaded whatever confusion the next minute would bring.

 

'It's an easy mistake to make. Now my daughter? Eleanor Lethbridge Stewart? I had a call saying she'd been in a motorcycle accident? Where is she? Is she okay? Dammit man stop gawping!'

 

'There's three of you. Three Bernie’s.'

 

'Did I forget to mention I was an identical triplet? Surprise! Where's my niece please Fletch? Sooner rather than later?'

 

'She's in the side room.' Morven provided, seeing that Fletch was still in no condition to answer.

 

'Thanks. We'll catch up later yeah?

 

'She kept asking for her spare batteries?' Raf commented, appearing suddenly beside the women and taking on the shock of the identical women far better than Fletch.

 

'She means Bernie. It's a long story.' The third clone laughed as she strode across the floor.

 

Fletch groaned, head dropping into his hands as he tried to make sense of the last minute. This was too much. The third triplet was Welsh.

 

'So who wants to be the one to tell Serena?' Raf grinned as he dropped into the seat beside his best friend.

 

 

* * *

 

'Ms Campbell? Serena? Ah there you are, just the woman I was looking for.' Fletch tried to put on a calm face and failed most admirably.

 

'Fletch? Are you alright? You look as if you're about to soil yourself.'

 

'Uhhh.'

 

'Fletcher?' The not impressed eyebrow quirk would have rendered any person a quivering mess on the floor but Fletch was used to it, barely.

 

'It's Bernie.'

 

'...' Serena was shocked silent.

 

'She’s here. She's on the ward.'

 

“What? Is she okay? What happened? She'd better not have got her blown up again.'

 

'She's just visiting. She's okay. She isn't injured. That girl from the motorcycle accident is her niece. Daughter of her identical twin sister, well one of them. Identical triplet sister doesn't exactly roll off the tongue does it?'

 

'Bernie's here? With two identical sisters?' 8 months of silence from the woman she’d professed her love to and now, suddenly, out of nowhere, she was here. 6 months since Hanssen had reported that the blonde’s secondment had ended very successfully. Not one phone call. Not one text. Not one email. Total radio silence. And now there were three of her. Bloody typical.

 

'Kate and Rebecca apparently. Kate is the mother of the girl and looks like what Bernie used to look like, Rebecca is Welsh for some reason and has longer blonde hair, and Bernie now has auburn almost brown hair past her shoulders. It actually really suits her.’

 

'She's here. She's on AAU?'

 

'Do you want to sit down? You're looking rather pale.'

 

'No. Thank you. I'll just...be in my office. I have a lot of paperwork to be catching up on you know. Can't let the place fall down around our ears just because Bernie bloody Wolfe decided to turn up.

 

* * *

 

 

'What exactly happened?' Bernie slipped back into the side room and grabbed her niece’s patient notes from Raf’s hands.

 

'She was driving down relatively busy road when she swerved to miss a pothole apparently. She hit the curb and rebounded into a tree.'

 

'Shit. The damage?'

 

Ruptured spleen, four broken ribs, a punctured lung, a compound fracture to her tibia, a broken tibia, and a vast array of cuts and bruises

 

'Hells teeth.'

 

'She's going to be okay though Wolfie?'

 

'She'll be fine Tiger. She's strong. She's a Lethbridge-Stewart after all, we don't give up easily do we?’

 

* * *

 

 

‘Hey Knick knack.’

 

‘Mum. Battery pack. Auntie Rebecca. Hellooooooo.’

 

‘What the hell did you think you were doing? Why were you even in these parts, let alone riding a motorcycle?’ Kate threw herself across the room, stopping short of wrapping her arms around her daughter, remembering at the last moment of the many injuries her girl was suffering from.

 

‘I wanted to see Charlotte?’ Eleanor tried valiantly to fabricate a plausible excuse through the fog of medication but instantly knew it had failed.

 

‘She's in uni. So are you. You're at the same university. In Cardiff. And you both come home to us at holidays. Try again.

 

‘Uhhhh. I was visiting Cam?’

 

‘More plausible than the last excuse but he's visiting his girlfriend as you well know.’

 

‘I'm tired. Can we talk about this later?’

 

‘So you can have time to formulate a believable excuse?’ Rebecca laughed at the antics of her niece. Normally Eleanor was a fantastic liar, a true actress in the making, but the attempts she was making currently were truly terrible.

 

‘Exactly.’

 

‘Okay. But only because you look terrible, and I will get an answer out of you young Madam.’

 

‘Okay Mummys and Auntie Bexy. Love you. Sorry for scaring you all. It wasn't supposed to go like that I prom...’

 

‘We love you too peanut.’

 

‘Wasn't supposed to go like what do you think?’

 

‘I daren’t imagine.’

 

* * *

 

‘Serena. Hi!’ Bernie jumped back as she almost crashed headfirst into the woman she had hoped to avoid. She’d known it was a risk popping to the vending machine but they’d received the phone call before breakfast and the helicopter was hardly well stocked for food. Weapons on the other hand…

 

‘Bernie.’

 

‘I uh...it's good to see you. You look well.’ She really did, Bernie had spent many hours staring at the few pictures she actually had of the brunette but none of them did justice to the goddess before her.

 

‘So do you. You've changed your hair.’

 

‘Rebecca, my sister, is a hairdresser. She's been pestering me let her at it for years. I promised I'd let her when I left the army and, well, I left the army so...’

 

‘Right. Well it was nice to see you. Must dash.’ Serena looked anywhere but at the woman before her. She knew if she looked into those blue eyes that had haunted her in various ways over the past year, she would lose the composure she was barely hanging onto by her fingertips.

 

‘Serena wait. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have left like I did. I miss you.’

 

‘Well I haven't missed you at all. Best thing that ever happened to me.’

 

‘Oh. Right.’ The casual, almost disinterested, tone to the brunette’s voice was like a dagger to Bernie’s stomach. She knew this tactic well, had seen the woman inching away from her use it half a dozen times before. This was worse than an angry outburst or tears. This was Serena at her most hurt.

 

‘I have to go. Some of us still have a job to do here.’

 

‘Of course. Sorry.’ _What had she done?_

 

* * *

 

 

‘I saw her.’ Bernie’s voice broke the silence of the side room.

 

‘How did it go?

 

‘She hates me. She said she hasn't missed me and that me leaving was the best thing that ever happened to her.’

 

‘Oh Wolfie.’ Kate was up from her seat in seconds, her arms around her sister’s waist instantly. Neither of them were big on tactile affection with others but they had always made an exception for each other and, more recently, Rebecca. No one else would be allowed to see the vulnerabilities that led to the embraces, army brats then a life in service seeing paid to that.

 

‘She was lying. It's been 8 months since I left and I can still read her like an open book. I hurt her.’ Rebecca joined the embrace, moulding into them like a missing puzzle piece in what could have easily have been an uncomfortable standing position yet was utterly right. Resting her head on Bernie’s shoulder she spoke.

 

‘You had to put yourself first. You are the most selfless person I have ever met but she was tearing you apart and if you hadn't have left when you did then I likely would have dragged you out of here kicking and screaming. She broke you. Those two months you spent in the Ukraine helped you separate yourself from her but you never allowed yourself to process what happened.’

 

‘I-’

 

‘Don't try and argue, you know what Rebecca said is true. You forget, we know you better than anyone.’

 

‘I still love her.’

 

‘I know you do hun.’

 

‘I've missed her so much. I forgot just how beautiful she was.’

 

‘Of course you have. You were so close.’

 

‘She looked so sad when we were taking, when she first saw me she was so scared. What have I done to her? God I wish Eleanor had never even seen a motorbike so we wouldn't be in this stupid situation.’

 

‘I'm sorry. I think it was Paul and Olivia who got her into it.’ Rebecca apologised earning a cuff around the head from both her sisters.

 

‘I didn't mean to cast blame. It isn't anyone's fault but my own that I've found myself in this mess with Serena.’

 

‘You realise when Ace gets here she'll probably lock you two in a room together until you make up.’ Kate smirked, imagining the reaction their youngest sister would have to the two stubborn women circling each other.

 

‘She'd better not. Maybe I should go and come back when Serena’s shift is over. I don't want all this tension around Els just because her aunt is a complete fuck up.’

 

‘You're her mother, even if we only joke around about it, and you deserve to be here just as much as I do. I can talk to that nurse Fletch and make sure you don't see each other again if you want. But Berenice you need to sort this out. I've known you nearly five decades and I've never seen you so sad.’

 

‘I love my life! I get to do fascinating work that most people couldn't even imagine, and I get to work beside my best friend and triplet. I get to see my other triplet most weekends and we talk every single night, my children phone me twice a week, Els and Gordy consider me their mother, I have two beautiful nieces, a brother in law who is a lovable twat, and a younger sister who makes me cry laughing every day. My life is better than it’s ever been.’

 

‘But you don't have her.’

 

‘No. I don't have her.’

 

‘You're lonely.’

 

‘Did you even listen to a word I just said?

 

‘Shut up and listen. You know I don't usually but into that crap about soulmates and all, two baby daddies and a divorce saw to that, but she is your person. She's your other half. The Mulder to your Scully, the Monica to your Chandler, the Mum to your Dad.’

 

‘The Callie to your Arizona.’

 

‘Ever notice how the successful couples herefor mentioned are heterosexual?’

 

‘We can fight the system later.’

 

‘Okay. The Paul to your me then.’

 

‘We're trying to persuade her that this is a good thing and not a terrible life decision.’

 

‘Yeah I love you too.’

 

‘I can't deal with this all now. I'm going to go phone the Mum and Dad. Ace is already on her way in isn’t she? Call me if she wakes up again.’

 

‘Okay. Just think about what we said.’

 

‘I will.' She kissed Eleanor on the head before scurrying away leaving two concerned sisters in her wake.

 


End file.
